Seating a rehearsal dinner
Updated
A rehearsal dinner is usually twenty to fifty people who will all be at the wedding tomorrow: the wedding party, close family and anyone who travelled a long way. It is the evening for the two families to meet properly, and the seating can help with that more than at any other meal of the weekend.
One long table or a few rounds
Under about thirty guests, one long table or a U shape keeps everyone in the same conversation, and it is what most restaurants' private rooms are set up for. A row of 8 ft banquet tables butted end to end seats eight per table along both sides, so four of them seat thirty-two. Over thirty, a few rounds of eight to ten are easier: everybody can still see everybody, and nobody is stuck at the far end of a table 40 ft long.
Where the couple and the hosts sit
The couple sit in the middle of a long table, or at the centre round, where they can talk to as many people as possible. Whoever is hosting, traditionally but not necessarily the groom's parents, sits close by. At a long table, the hosts can sit facing each other across the middle, the way a dinner party is laid, so both ends of the table have someone looking after them.
Mix the families on purpose
At the wedding, guests sit by side and by family. The rehearsal dinner is the time to do the opposite. Seat parents next to their new in-laws, put the two sets of grandparents together, and seat a bridesmaid beside a groomsman she has not met. Couples still sit together. A little deliberate mixing tonight means two families who already know each other by tomorrow.
Speeches and toasts
Rehearsal dinner speeches tend to be longer and more personal than the wedding's. If you have a long table, anyone giving a toast can stand where they are. With rounds, give the room one clear spot to speak from, with the couple's table nearest it, and check that nobody is sitting with their back to it.
Plan both events together
The rehearsal dinner and the reception share most of a guest list, so it saves time to plan them from the same one. Make a separate event in the planner for each, import the guest list into both, and seat each one for what it is for: families mixed at the dinner, sides together at the reception.